Neptune in Synastry . . .

When I think of Neptune in synastry, the duality of the Neptune experience comes to mind. Neptune is the higher octave of Venus but not often expressed as that. Wandering around in a hall of smoke and mirrors and lots of illusion is a far more common experience. Yes, it’s possible we can find our “soul mate” and live happily ever after is a cloud of romantic bliss . . . and if you buy that I have this piece of real estate in the hinterlands that would be perfect for you.

Neptune is darn tricky to understand but when it comes to synastry I see Neptune as playing an important role. He can soften some of Saturn’s harsher edges and give us some relief from Pluto’s obsessions. Or he can lead us down the garden path and make both Saturn’s strictures and Pluto’s obsessive behaviors even worse. Think of some poor badly abused individual that proclaims how much their abuser “loves” them because their addictions to drugs and alcohol (Neptune) are being fed. Admittedly this is an extreme example but there are lots of these folks out there in this type of situation.

If we see sextiles and trines between Neptune and various personal planets in a comparison, I find these are helpful in promoting a pleasant romantic vibe. If it’s Venus involved there is likely to be candlelit dinners and flowers that are given for no particular reason except to express appreciation for one’s lover. With the Sun and Moon, Neptune can bring a deep sense of connection, often spiritual in nature and a willingness to exercise tolerance generously. Sometimes Moon/Neptune aspects can promote an emotional, psychic awareness of each other. Mars/Neptune aspects are good for cheering each other on to achieve especially if one or both people are in creative professions. Neptune can be a source of inspiration and creativity that seems to well up out of the cosmos.

Neptune conjunct personal planets and the Ascendant/Descendant can be a little trickier to handle. It’s been my experience Neptune is on his best behavior with some harmonious distance involved. Up close and personal as in the conjunction, he can start churning out his illusions easier and it’s easier to get lost in them. However, Neptune conjunctions do intensify the sense of a psychic link as well as empathy for the other. So I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt and look to other aspects to get an idea of how the Neptune effect will play out.

It’s the squares, inconjuncts and oppositions with Neptune that can get really interesting – particularly the square aspects. Here is where the desire to escape from sordid reality can seriously emerge and create major difficulties. Religion, drugs, and other assorted addictions are often a part of relationships with the tension creating aspects. The opposition can lead to being seduced by a so-called “spiritual leader” where one person projects all kinds of fanciful notions on another. Neptune is often about projections and expectations – both our own and others. With the inconjunct the effect may be of either living in la la land with occasional shocks of cold, hard reality or the reverse which may be more manageable.

When Neptune has us firmly entranced, it seems we must dance to his tune until something else happens to break the spell. In a typical relationship, we are most “in Love” for about two years or there abouts. Now which planet changes signs roughly two and half years . . . . Saturn!! Saturn can help ground us and show us the way to enjoy Neptune’s benefits without succumbing to his downside. This reason I say this is because I have Moon conjunct Neptune natally closely sextile to Saturn and that is my personal experience of both of these outer planets.

This is a picture by artist, Frank Hettick, titled "Blues for Neptune". Amazing work! Here is a link to his website: http://www.solarvoyager.com/fhettick.asp

Saturn in Synastry . . . Neith’s take

A friend requested my take on how Saturn works in synastry between the charts. As a true Libra Sun person with a life-long fascination with how relationships work how could I say “no”? Over the years, I done a lot of reading relating to synastry plus looked at a lot of different relationships plus my own – especially my own! When it comes to Saturn, I still favor Steven Arroyo’s work in this area. He is a fellow Libra and has done extensive astrological relationship counseling over the years. Another favorite, Liz Greene, has what I consider “the Book” on Saturn: “Saturn: a new look at an old devil”. Between these two astrologers and my own experiences, Saturn in synastry is simply not the bad guy that more traditional astrologers have made him out to be.

This is not to say there aren’t inter-chart aspects with Saturn that are not tough to deal with as there are. Saturn forming squares and inconjuncts to the Moon and Venus in particular can be difficult to resolve. However, conjunctions and oppositions as well as squares show up with great frequency in chart comparisons of couples that have been together – and happily – for many years. One of the key factors may be that most of time there has been some kind of formal documentation of the relationship, i.e., marriage, wills, etc. Saturn likes it very much when both partners sign on the dotted line and announce to the community that they are a couple.

Conjunctions, trines, sextiles and oppositions between Saturn and the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Ascendant and Descendant are all aspects that can indicate a relationship that will be durable. Saturn acts as a stabilizing element and helps ground the relationship in time and space. When the synastry has loads of Jupiter and Uranus inter-aspects for fun and freedom, I like to see a good solid Saturn aspect to provide some balance. If I don’t see one or two, then the likely hood is the relationship will burn brightly and then both partners will move on.

My S/O’s Saturn is conjunct my Moon/Neptune which falls in his seventh House . . . classic aspect for the long run. Traditional astrology says I will experience this as oppressive and run into lots of resistance to the natural expression of my emotional nature. I will own up to some of that but after seventeen years of being essentially happy and comfortable together my over-riding experience has been one where I find him emotionally dependable and this creates a feeling of security for me. OK, I have Taurus on the cusp of my seventh House so I LIKE a partner that others may find boring but that’s the beauty of astrology – we can determine what type of partner best suits us.

While we love to look chart comparisons, I feel I must reiterate . . . ONE MORE TIME . . . chart comparisons start with the individual! And if as an individual, you are not yet in a place to be a good partner, please acknowledge that to yourself if no one else. My Libra side tells me the willingness to compromise is a very important aspect of being a good partner. To make healthy compromises, we need to know exactly what we will and will not compromise on. This goes right to the heart of being a good partner . . . :-)

I am willing to field questions on this subject but if someone wants an in-depth sysnastry reading, we may have to discuss cost . . . That being said, I love doing chart comparisons!


This is the wedding photo of my Libra mom & Cancer dad . . . they were married just a week shy of 63 yrs when she died this past spring. One of the reasons I believe in the possibility of lasting reasonably happy relationships!

First Thoughts on Pluto in Synastry

When I was asked about Pluto in synastry that question started this amazing upwelling of information . . . so here’s a big Thank You to the person who asked! In fact, there is so much coming up from the depths of my mind I may be at this for awhile . . .

First, it is necessary to remember Pluto is a major player (ignore those deluded folks who reclassified him as a dwarf planet) among the outer planets. The nature of the outer planets and the impact they have on us poor humans is profound and often difficult to discern and articulate. The only reason I’m attempting this is because Pluto by transit has conjuncted every single planet in my chart except Uranus and he opposed that. I’m sure there are a lot of other people out there who have shared this experience but as an astrologer I’m probably most compelled to use those experiences to help others understand just what the hell happened to their carefully crafted lives!

As always we need to look at how Pluto operates in our own charts first before we can look at how he works in synastry. Those of us with lots of Scorpio, loaded 8th Houses or Pluto in aspect to the personal planets and Ascendant, all have at least a starting point. My recommendation is to take note of where you are obsessing about something or someone, or having someone obsessing about you – then stop feeding energy into that. And personal experience says that is HARD sometimes! However, unless we can shine some light in those areas and apply good old fashioned common sense, we will continue to beat our heads against the wall of those obsessions. Liz Greene has written some amazing information about Pluto in her book, “The Astrology of Fate”. Reading that was very helpful for me in identifying and reducing my obsessions to a manageable level. “Manageable” is the key as the darn things are not going to disappear and blow away. So all you high-minded sorts that would prefer to remain above all that . . . not going to happen and it will only make things worse.

When it comes to relationships and Pluto we have to prepare ourselves to be an honest as possible about our motives and expectations. If a person has Pluto in the 7th House natally, they are just about guaranteed to find themselves dealing with control issues in their one-on-one relationships. Pluto/Moon aspects natally will often translate for men as seeing women as ball busting bitches, sad to say. And for women, well, that can emerge as this horrifying desire to run someone else’s life done to the tiniest detail. The way I see it these urges can end up eating up so much time and energy, there is nothing left for simply enjoying life as a couple. This is why I keep going back to the theme of getting to know, understand and accept ourselves first before running out and jumping into relationships. Being Libra, I have to say . . . on the other hand . . . there is the school of thought that says we learn by doing!

There will be much more forthcoming but for now, I’d like to pay homage to Pluto, Hades, Kali, Erishkagal and the many faces of that part of Life where something must be destroyed to make way for the possibility of renewal. By surrendering ourselves to this aspect of the cycle of being, we can open ourselves up to transformation as expressed by the Phoenix.


This is a painting done by David A. Hardy titled "Pluto and Charon" . . . simply stunning! To see more go to: http://www.solarvoyager.com/dhardy.asp

Second Thoughts about Pluto in Synastry . . .

That is a deliberate play on words because if you see Pluto playing a major role in a chart comparison, i.e., conjunct the other person’s Moon or Ascendant, second thoughts about pursuing the relationship are in order. My reasoning here has to do with the reality that for most people, Pluto acts through them in an unconscious manner. For someone deep in a Plutonian obsession, it takes a pretty big smack on the head to get their attention, and you can’t be sure you’ve got it for very long either.

Pluto in aspect to the personal planets either natally or in synastry can show us the type of obsession. The Sun/Pluto contact is about “finding” our selves, usually by jumping in the deep end. The Moon/Pluto is obviously about exploring emotional entanglements and taking them to extremes. Mercury/Pluto can find us taking a particular line of thought to the bitter end. Venus/Pluto contacts can lead us to sacrifice our selves for what we are calling ‘Love’ and Mars/Pluto . . . well, that’s where we find out about rage. These are my personal key phrases – Mars/Mercury conjunct in Scorpio at work, going for the essence.

Pluto too wants to plumb of depths of experience . . . and he’s not fussy about whether that experience is positive or negative. When transiting Pluto was conjuncting my Moon in Libra, the relationships drawn into my life were with very different types than I had been involved with either before or after. I am a pretty typical well-educated middle class woman who happened to grow up on a farm and Pluto pulled alcoholic, drug addicted cons and ex-cons into my life for a period of about two years. These were all obsessive relationships where I behaved in a manner quite different from my usual calm and cheerful self.

That I survived the experience without too much damage is most likely due to a very hardworking guardian angel, and a natal Moon sextile Pluto/Saturn. The way out was in the form of drug & alcohol counselor, who asked the right questions, educated me as to what was going on and pointed out the direction to my usual habitat. I was very lucky and there are many people out there right now who are not . . .

Saturn placements can play a big role in how we handle Pluto – either in our own charts or in synastry. He can represent the solid bottom we can hit spiraling down in the grip of a Pluto inspired obsession. Sometimes we need Saturn’s willingness to deal with a problem one step at a time to find our way back. Perhaps it’s because I have the Saturn/Pluto conjunction (in the 9th House) natally sextile my Moon/Neptune conjunction (in the 11th House) that I understand how those two working together can support, protect and teach so much.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is another of David A. Hardy's wonderful paintings titled "New Extra-solar Planet" .